Hola..Quick Updates!!

It's been a while since I've check-in-to this blog!!

What a FiSh!..Well ya I know..It's been a busy day of my life..

workin hard **was it really hard??or hanging out so hard??** =P

Yes I admit it..always have that Blogging Ideas playin on my mind..but i jus don't!

haha..

OK now I'm back just to share some lil' tiny minie story of my life..okies..

Rite..about one month to go to take off "fionce" title away and I'll be officially a WIFEY?

Really?Honestly 78.8% excited and partly feel kinda nervous to think of how does my wedding gna be like?

Is it a shweet lovey dovey wedding?

or is it gna be like an out-dated-Granny wedding?

Or is it gna be just a wedding??

I dunno...

All I know is one of the best thing that will remain forever..

is that TIE.the.KNOT of me n my HoneyDeW Fionce

Tmr I'm gna do my first fitting..I'm a lil' bit nervous....

with that Granny stitch-embroidery-TV Cover material or we call it PRADA/GuiPUre lace..

Combination with Table-Cloth-Lycra *for real?Yeah!Crazy isn't?

Wedding Theme?Please don't even ask!!

Seriously I Mean it!

I gotta say most likely this wedding are just 5% of what i dream of!

Wedding Card??By next Week..InsyaAllah will start to invite people officially!!

**When i was a lil' girl,,Always have this dream of Inviting people by visiting their home 

**with hottie look of Kim Kardashian n driving BMW sport??

and for real??FB RSVP- good enough isn't?

D.a.I.S - English Garden with bling2 glamour but simple look??

Shoe-Still thinking of 5 inch cinderella  platform heelS!perfect for me**of being shortie and wide!

But sadly saying that I'll be taller than my Prince..

So?No kitty heels!I hate it! minimum is 4 inch!

I'll figure it out later..

And ya not forgetting,,I'm now playing Gym,,Crazy isn't?

Not that Crazy of losing weight,,But Spending on Unnecessary Stuff!

It's been 3 weeks havn't been to the GYM!

I only love the Sauna and Steam room..the rest..Hate it!

But For 1 month of workout..I've loose 3 kgs**Dun expect so much as I still look the same!**Sigh*

Shud I Thanks my PT*Personal Trainer* or is Shud I thank myself of wasting my penny's?

And now in Silent mode of Rejecting my  PT Incoming Call!

Speaking of Unnecessary Expenses..

I've just Awarded my Baybee Neo With New Sport 'Shoes'!

17"!awesome!u look gorgeous baybee!

And not forgeting..my oh my money flying away for Roadtax & Insurance for Neo Baybee aso!

Yup..and all that  happen in One Month!

Another Month to go..what's gna happen now??

BrideZellA Mood comin on my way..oh noo o!!

and ya..I'm dedicating special LOVE for newly Born Baby Hilary Duff!
Wish that Life of Suhilary is fantastico as Hilary..
Ameen!

**me!*

Weddin my Besties~intanorazam @ Kuantan

Hye gurls.....

As everybody know,,byk sgt wedding in Oct kan??I regret sgt2 x dpt nak g wedding my besties si gojes azam@intan, last  two weeks..when I see the picture..homaigod..It's dream come true wedding..everytin is sooooo shweeeettt...I love every single thing about her weddin and I know every single thing itu adalah titik peluh azam...berbaloi2!!

Tp last weekend I dpt gak g wedding azam wit my Love fionce..hehe eventho mjlis belah laki pon x per lah...

Once i tgk azam, Im speechless felt like crying seriously,,but I'm not!cover la..make up tebal..hihihi..
sampai gak hajat I nak g weddin azam,,I swear to god I mmg x leh tdo koz  mis wedding dia tau..now lega sgt2..n ske sgt2 eventho dpt jumpe azam kejap je..n gamba pon seketol  je..itu  pun abg syg amek kan...

cantik kan??berseri2 kan??I plak peluh2 nak cair mekap tahan panas...x tau la mcm mane nanti jadi pengantin.SUE!! I wish tat I can be as pretty as her during my big day nanti..eee x saba nye nak kawennnnnn..baju nikah i sebijik kaler bju azam tau...

nie gamba I bler jumper azam..macam nak nanes kan??emo je kan??nie I amek kat blog azam...My hubby ade tercelit ctet kat blkg I yg rambut spikey tuh..hihihi.
Azam is a very spesel fren of mine...She is one of a kind...I thot I left Kuantan for good and will never return..

but,THESE are the small pieces left in my heart...

She is my hsemate yg sgt best tat thot me byk sgt about life yg I x pnh tau..

She has a very kind heart, and pandai masak!abes la Sari gemok pasnie!.

same goes to my other hsemate kat Kuantan..cik Rose...Dowg telah gv me semngat bekobar2 utk meralisasikan our dream wedding jd kenyataan eventho kte nie bkn artis!
and not forgotten azam n rose train i jd bini org!hehe blaja masak..n plg best I blk KL wajib msk smbl ikan bilis ijau meletop tuh!ohh,,windu plak kat dowg!!

Cam x caye je tgk azam da slamat jd isteri org kan???hehe..pasni Rose plak..pastu I!InsyaAllah...

Doa I untuk kwn I yg sweet sgt nie..Semoga Azam n Sari Diberi ketabahan mengahdapi suka duka berumah tangga dan bahagia selama-lama-lama nya!!

Since Azam je da halal, n we both x halal lg, x leh la g kuantan tu ske2 je nak holiday sewa hotel,,

darah manes la katakan,nak balik hari cam x best kan?so afta makan Ana Ikan Bakar Petai (Wajib Ok! eventho da kenyang makan kat kenduri Azam!)Oh ye makan kenduri azam mmg best! nasik dier mmg I ske gler..n bole x, nak blk baru kitorang perasan kitorang mkn kat kemah perempuan sahaja!baru tnampak signboard kemah pompuan laki asing!!haha,,patot la smua pndg pelik n makcik2 jer kat kemah kitowg..hahahaha

Then pas beli kopok leko smuer da kenyang mkn sotong calamari ana ikan bakar petai..then kitowg g umah newly weds sedara my Love,,kebetulan dok kat mentakab, pahang,,dowg baru jer dpt baby,so kitowg nk melawat baby dowg merangkap nk tompang tdo free,,,hihihi..

Sweet x gamba nie??Best tau baby Mawi n Ina,,name dier baby ain..chumey n plg best x byk ragam,,x nanges pon..tau la i nie phobia ctet ngn baby,,tatot sgt baby nanges,,tp ngn Ain nie mcm ada chemistry plak..mmg berkepit je i ngn baby ain nie..hehe..first time dpt jage baby,,n baby tu senyap jer..

n bler tgk gamba nie..HOMAIGOD..Suhailla!!!please workout!!!u look like a mother of three!!!Oh NOOO!!!

SucKcessful Scientist Vs. Obedient Wifey

Hye Guys~So Soorry if the Title is a bit Rude..

Maybe a lil bit..hehehe...

Ok  guys..just wanna talk about career again..as far as everybody know I've resigned as microbiologist..like a few months a go..and I'm happily engaged back to KL for goods..

 Honestly, now I'm neither working as microbiologist nor scientist not any part of it...

After the horrible journey of leaving Kuantan for good, I'm a Project Manager on the next day...

But don't expect me to earn affordable enof to buy Vuitton handbag..in your dream!..but more than I earned as Microbiologist..which makes me like a really pathetic broke scientist..over and all I'm still thankful for what god has written for me... 

Job is not related at all to scientist work..I didnt touch test tube or anything look like it!..haha...80% job is on computer and run here and there arranging students to the seminars and honestly I'm also lecturing which I admit  that I'm enjoying it!can u believe I'm teaching BM in English!That is the best I can do!

Besides that I also contributing preparing academic material, as well as do proposal for government project..
But I think this job is quite ok..if this is gna be temporary job for me..
I've got to admit it..I'm damn happy..wanna know why? bcoz I"ve gta c my Ucuk Fionce!
yay!!we had dinner  almost everyday or at least "trice" a week..huhu..his office just 5 minutes away!
wat a lovely life huh..nutin is much more happier than being close to ur sweetheart!

To tell u the truth, is not that i didn't get any offer on that scientist nerdy job,
I got it,,but I'm refuse to accept it..
wanna know why?
becoz i dun wanna die being suXcessful Scientist without life!!..
no no no and it's definitely a big no...
being a scientist is sumtin I should be dream of..
of cos or else I'm wasting 4 years in UM..
but..being a scientist it's like 24/7 kinda job..
after u've done research in the lab,,have to go back and study more and more and always hv to think wat should be done..again and again..
stressful isn't it?
I don't want to hv this kind of life,,
seriously..I just wanna go to work to get money pay my Baybee Neo, pay Loan and have a wonderful day and nite with my future hubby and family not forgotten my beloved fren also..
is this too much too ask?

I know since I'm a small kid..mom n dad nurture me to be successful person..
do well in studies,get the best career..
but what am I thinking of??
being happily married taking care of husband and kid??
and forgot all my ambition??
Was it really worth it to sacrifice ur dream career just have the perfect happy life??

Then what will be the purfect job for me?
honestly job that i want is that Microbiologist job in Kuantan..
I love that job..seriously..that is the purfect job for me..
All my research is well done, not stress,,bos all A-OKAy..
but..if only they pay me my price tag and cover all my living cost in Pahang and my cost to go back to KL and please approve all my claim without politic!yup...but it's not goin to happen..they can't afford to have me..and I'd rather   go back to my life with love ones...and forget about all this sheeettt...pass is passed..look forward please!!I'm glad I made this decission or else I may never have enof money to get engaged & now getting married?hope everytin went out well..coz I know God always know the best for me..
Alhamdulillah~

Got this crazee damn good job offer who wanted me to do the "thing" again as what I did for my thesis and my last project with Rt-bio..He is so interested how i did that simulated gastrointestional and also probiotic thing..haish..I've could not answer 40 % of his Q..and yet he still want me?? how do i get rid of this itchy lab thing-ie??i wanna do sumtin else!Sumtin that is not using my brain and did not cause me stressful life!

Before, when I'm a scientist..trying hard to make life happy which inside I'm not!!..

After, Look at these...Im truly happy rite??have time to hangout wit sista??

should I accept this challenge or just let it go??

Nah~I passed..Sorry!

pretty on it's own way~

morning ols~

wow,i've just woke up and look at my blog..it's empty doh..

what do u think of BEAUTIFUL?

Am I pretty?

are u pretty?

is she pretty?

Is Hilary duff pretty?yup gorgeous!

Is Rozita Che Wan pretty?Damn Hot!

Sometimes when I felt beautiful,,i felt confident...

when I'm putting up make up,, i felt pretty   and confident..

when I'm naked, I felt like god I'm the ugly beast,,like a maid walking in the bazaar!..

eeeuuww..at least cinderella stiil look charming with ugly clothes!

I still remember I'd always have this dream of...

"When I'm working,,I wanna have a job that can cover my "beauty expenses""

Such as..my make up,,my beauty cream, can go to see Dermatologist and  have a Vitamin C injection! to get rid off all of my acne scars!! that is the most important..

But then,,life is not as beautiful as u imagine....

I'm now focusing to get married..so forget all that!

I don't wanna wear 80's clown gown on my big day..

no no no...BIG NO..

But now I'm still thinking what is beauty about..

Always ask my Hubby.2be,,

"Am I pretty?"

and he saids.."pretty!u are fair like soy's bean!"

"what about my skin?"

"aaa that?ur skin felt like.."(I start to pinch him already!hahaha)

Ok2,,enough ok,,starting from today once a week let's do facial!

yup i promise myself!

My lil' sis had a business on spa,, and i just mislook at it?

come on suhailla!don't be a cheapskate! 

20 bucks only!

and guys,,don't u think it's cool to be pretty as barbie doll?

u can wear anything but still look pretty?

what do u think????????????

Happy weekends....

Panggilan "ABANG", wajib ke?

Hello ladies,,

Tonite topic.. Pnggilan Abg..korg pgil BF?HUbby korg abg ke??

nowadays i raser jarang sekali dgr panggilan tu kan?

I think lelaki-lelaki tulen melayu kat luar sana tentu mengidamkan bini tersayang panggil Abang walaupun mayb same umor or bini lagi tua kan??

Klu nak teringat balik,,mase mula2 I kapel with my hubby.2.be,,

eventho he's livin in LA,, he ask me to call him ABG..

OMG, I swear to god..I punyer pitching mmg lari,,mmg x ikhlas langsung..like i didn't mean it at all..

terbelit pusing2 lidah i, and i raser dekat 5 minit mcm tu i gelak klu my hubby2be ckp abg-abg-ayg nie..

btul,,at certain stage tat time,,which i'm so girlie,time tgh nak grow up,,mmg x le trime,,to me mende ni sounds like so kampung..i slalu ckp i shud kol my husband I - U mcm tu..haha..tah pa pe tah...
and peliknyer..mmg abg i, kkk i, adek i smue pon mcm tuh,,mmg kne bahan habes la klu terdengar abg-abg-syg nie..ish ish..

I ske pgil cinta syg i tu SYG,,sbb i raser itu panggilan dr hati i..

tp 1 thing about me,,i oversensitive..maklumlah..1st love (& it's gna be Last!ameen!)

mula2 dulu,,kitowg agree la nak pgil Syg-ayg kot klu i x silap,,,,

then pada satu pagi,, he woke me up,,n kol me SUE,,

u tau i nanges bengkak2 mata! thot that he didnt love me anymore..

so start from that moment we all x tetapkan dah nak panggil ape..

all come from our heart,,nak pgil love ke,,pumpkins ke,,syg ke,,cookies ke,,honeydew ke..bubu ke..baybee ke...

except ABG..mmg lidah I kelu...

as time goes on...Allah bukakkan hati I kot,,

lepas tunang,,I x tau nape,,tp lembut je lidah i nak pgil Abg...

Abg tau..btul,,n perasaan i lain sgt..

I rase mcm I respect him as he's goin to take care of me forever,,

as I'm belong to him,,tah la,,btul,,I ske pgil cinta saye tu Abg..

x raser kampong pon..btul..raser mcm besh sgt mcm da kawen je klu kat public kan??

koz da pakai cincin batu,pakai emas,inai pon x ilang lagi dr tunang aritu..

hehe,,so mmg best la..

Sbb saya makin sayang abang!

abgku syg....

those time when i can't call u abg....
Many peeps ask me wht does 'A' ,means..n i said..angle!jht kan?
Actually it means Afiq..yup..that d first gift he gave me on our 1st date..
he order n specially design it for me from LA tau..hehe 

PS: I slalu blur,klu kwn2 keje or u ckp - eh abg u kje ape? or x g kuar ngan abg ke?

n i dgn slamber thot why they were askin on my real brother..but then oohh abg syg itu ker...huhuhuhu

dah jum tdo!mimpi cinderalla story!

Mini Dais for my engagement day..

Hey babes...

I know my bad that i didn't share anything on my e-day..as everybody is sharing their memorable days together all in B2b blog..Honestly, by reading all of the B2b blog out there,,,It helps me alot...seriously..

Like how to be more serious on getting married,,,and it's not tat easy as u prepare ur birthday partay..

thanks to all b2b..love ur blog,,and please keep share all those shweet unforgettable experience,,,

Suddenly I thot,,

I'd rather buy expensive branded bag tat last for 5 years than buying cheap bag(300 time cheaper maybe) tat can last for 1 month?!

I'm paying for good stuff and good quality...

Is this applicable to wedding as well??

I dunno..I just don't want to waste any penny at all..seriously..

As for my engagement, I only started to really seriously plan it like a month before..

and for my mini dais??like one nite before!!!!yes!please believe it!

thanx to my lil' sis,,i think is really pretty n shweett..thank darlin!

Before my engagement my mak.2.be did ask me wheather there will be any pelamin or not..since she said she kinda shy as she and i will the highlight for that day..hehe..
Then I said: misti la der,,t x best la x le tgkp gamba,,simple2 je..hik hik"

i dont want to spend a lot on my dais..so I've used wtv we have at home and bring back to kampong..

my lil' sis make it..climb the ladder to nailed the curtain right on the highest part of the ceiling, so it won't look ugly if u can see the brown-wood-wall..so not into my color!hihi...

I've choose rite in the middle of the hse as u walk into the hse u can see the nice lay out pelamin..

hehe..it's like two storey high...

and the sunlisght is focus on my dais,,so that "berseri2"!..

however there is some pic kinda dark as so many people takin my pix during the "sarungkan cincin" part..

my lil' sis love to do the scallop..as she just learned how to do it..and took the extra "paper rose flower" mama made it for my hantaran...and i think it's so sexy and brilliant to put it in between the scallop..nice rite..

As for the mini stage we use like bed pad..and cover with small folded single mattress and again covered with extra lining from my engagement dress!haha..then my sis nailed it on the bed pad..

and rite after they called my officially fiance to come in..he's salam all my uncle's and dad and straight come to me and SIT NEXT TO ME!!..

can u believe it!he's so nervous and he forget this is not solemnization but an engagement!

and he whispered to me "syg,knape kecik sgt pelamin nie?"

Wat? I thot u said no need pelamin at all??

Hahaha,,but's turn out to be ok..and everybody laugh and it's kinda break the ice rite??

all people say.." haa,jgn dekat2,,kene ctet trus nikah!"

That's my lil' story on my mini dais...maybe when i have time I'll share on other things...

Like my friend said.."seje cter pasal tunang,,nak amek mood kawen"...

maybe pasni i pukul my own ontot so tat jgn mls2 nak prepare wedding!..g JOGGING!!

Love!

hey ladies.......

Saje je suka suki nak letak this pix..

So in love...

Look alike??on the cheek part maybe..please don't close up as u can see I'm sweating rite on my forehead!

nite! =)

Happy Birthday to me!!

hye hottie babes!!..

110811 is my 24th bday!!!yups...

I'm old enof to get married  aite??

is there anybody out there been married yesterday??

I've juz realize,,it's 110811,,wat a hot number rite?

it could only happen in 100 years??wow!!hopefully 24th is a great year for me...

As Mohamad Afiq's Fiance....

Actually I've notice the date (110811) when Im takin my fiance to clinic..he's got into motobike accident..

told him I hate motobike..it's too risky..and I couldn't imagine if... (STOP IT!!)

Astaghfirullahalazim..

Alhamdulillah,,he's OK,,juz some body ache...

OK let's just forget about it,,yet Im still happy as I fall in love with him again!!..

I swear to god my fiance he's not dat romantic lovey dovey kind a guy..

But he's really sweet..n wtv he done for me,it's from his heart,,an he meant it...

So,,as for me,,I'm livin in fairy tale love,,always hope for romantic dinner,roses,he open the door for me..all sort of faries stories...hmmm..

Not to put hope so much,, I just act normal tat day...

after we went to clinic, he saids he needs to see his fren urgently...

Hubbe.2.Be: Syg, I need to see my friend urgently..

Me: Why?is it sumtin to do wit ur work..

Hubee.2be.: yeah,,sumtin like tat..

Me:just tell me about it..

Hubby to be.: i'll tell u afta I met my friend..

Me:let me c ur phone

Hubby.2be: No syg!! please respect me!

Me:wat are trying to hide from me?can't u just spit it out!tell me! Is this more important than me??what more important than me??

Hubby.2me: Im begging please,after I see my friend, I promise will tell u everything,,please just be patient..

Me: ok, but u hv to park car rite in front of ur friend..

Hubby: No sorry can't do that..

Me:Is it a girl?????

Hubby.2 be: it's a guy! I swear...

Then I put trust on him..I just wait in the car..deep inside my heart,, I thot hope sneaking him,,but it's seems like I doubt him.No!I'm not gna do that coz I trust Him!..

After like 20 minutes..felt falling sleep already..somebody knocking on my door,,

Then he said..

"happy birthday honey!"

------SPEECHLESS--------

lookin at the roses he gave me!!

there are six of them..symbol of our love,,6 years 2gether!

n there I go agains..tears runnin over my mascara...

So sweet of u syg!seriously I would never expect of this!!tq so much...

then he took me to watch movie..and we went to chili's..

god damn perfect...Good food,,good service,,and perfect views!in front of lake with the sunset view..

I swear to god..I always dream of this moment in my fairy tale diaries!!

Always wanna c sunset with my Love!

I've got it on my 24th birthday as his Fiance!

Sygku,

Thanks for being everything to me,,

happy n sorrow..

Nobody in this world can take ur place,,

as u r the only one in my heart..

I will always love u 4ever n ever..

please click to read his shweeet bday wishes!!....heeeeeee..

sygku buchuk.guess what, it's ur bday honey, and i hope i can make your dreams come true, but part of me say i already do, thats dream u been dream on has come true bcoz it already filled with love and happiness that we go true started the first time we met,i'll never forget our sweet and bad memorized, syg ur love and care, has built my world without you,i'm not me, so wish u a very happy birthday n our love will keep stronger until the end and forever honey...:=)

Why should I get married?

Hye peeps,,

here I am again in the middle of the nite talking to the wall.........

why do i say tat?????..to me this blog is like "the wall"..because wen ur heart hv a lot things to say,,and nobody could bare to really listen wht ur heartsay..So tat's y I've use to say,,I'd rather talk to the wall than talkin to peeps....which they can hear u but they never listen................

..Why am I talking like crap..like no excitement at all tat I'm gettin married...

Halo??Suhailla,,whats wrong with u???

well,,,hummm I dunno...too many things in my mind now,,,

I wish tat I could have everytin but,,i could only get either one...

So, why i wanna get married n live my life with one man??like forever??

I've used to think,,,when i felled in love..i wanna get married..n the rule is simple;

U CAN DO WTV U LIKE, & I CAN DO WTV I LIKE..

As simple as that...as if...

I wanna be a successful Scientist,,getting title Dr...up to me..

So do u..u can be a successful in ur career,,open bussiness u want,,go where ever u wanna go...

What i meant is that,, when I'm gettin married..i just wanna live with u,,and i still can chase my dream and so do you...So, this is what happiness mean to me...

Let's get married,,chasing our dream together,,be there for each other,,and always support each other...

and makin babies together (???????), and TAKING CARE BABIES ToGETHER....

Work for livin together,,DO HOUSE CHORES TOGETHER..

n..livin OLD TOGETHER...

This is perfect!..

That is why i wanna get married...not to runaway from my life..

I love my life as much as I hate them..but..it's me tho...

I wanna have a husband@soulmate@sleeping partner@BoyfrenForever who love me as much as i love him..

cooking for him,,making babies with him (?????)...taking care babies together,,work hard to live happy together...at the same time both of us successful in our career...tats all i want..

not $$$$.. I need $$$ to live not live for $$$$$.....

At certain point i feel like my life is perfect...

because of him...seriously..he complete me..totally...

he can understand me..all about me..the way I think and all that..

the thing is..our culture..our peeps..just can't accept that..

women has the same right as men does...

women can't get high edu, high paying job, Hell No!!

I've seen a lot of this..from peeps around me..
the wife..they sacrifice everything..taking care husband..children,,house,,work for living..and evrything until they've gone to bed..and wake up early in the morning..and another bz day..this will never stop..
I've seen My MOM(especially),,my colleagues..and I've learnt from them..that male species will never say thank and appreciate female species..why???why??and why???

rite guys..think about it..life is so mean to female...
hmmm..rite then..gtg to bed...so long..bye.

life is not that beautiful.......

Hey all,

One said that,

"Kite rises highest against the wind, not with it"

Does it bang your head when u read this?

dunno bout u guys, but this word of wisdom does bang my head. I've heard this like 2 months ago..from my current boss...and i still think of this thing over and over again..i dunno why but it maybe strike my heart, life and everything...

It means that wtv u dream of in this world is not that easy to achieve it..u have to go through all the obstacles..

basically means that the world is : THE PEOPLE!

yup,,we have to go through all of the people...believe me, who in this world were really sincerely happy for what you have achieve? Ur Folks? they should as they are the one who  rise us...

Our sibling? they might say in their heart " god I should have done better than her!why nobody ever proud what i've achieved, why her?"

Cousins and relative " ya rite, let see how far she can go..i bet i'll do much better than her!"

Friends "Im happy for you dear," whereas deep inside he said " damn, why she always got everything!I should be on her place, not her!"

Im sure 1000s peop out there DON'T agree with me as 1000s people out there agree with me..

maybe u don't agree with me cause I talk like crap, and you are positive enough to think all the people around you will pray for your happiness....

I dunno guys but Im damn sick and tired of all these!

seriously,, all my life people keep misjudge me! all the way till now...

Me,,in my own words...

First impression: I look dumb..(If in WEST side -peop may called me Dumb Blonde)

But people never expect that I'm good in scoring my exam...
"NOT BAD HUH??TOT U ARE STUPID,,CAN'T BELIEVE U CAN SCORE FLYING COLORS!"

I've heard lot of these...

My face features,,

Look like Bossy,Hot-tempered,social,bla,bla,bla

ya rite..I should just say..

YES I AM...BUT.....I a moody kind of person..

once I' mad,,yes I'll show it,,I'll be crazy..

but tats it..im not keeping it in my heart..

I feel relieved once i release my anger..tats it---------

Im not a good Liar..even my face couldn't hide my feeling!!

Im sorry..who felt threaten  with my face!

so now u telling me im a hypocrite? tat is soo not me!

and I can't live in a lie...

Is it so hard to understand me and accept me??

I'm sorry but i'm not perfect

I can't be wtv u expected me to be

I just can't

I'm not forcing anybody to accept me,

never,

If it's meant to be that I'll be alone for the rest of my life,

I accept it,

If nobody in the world can stand me.

DO I LIVE IN A DREAM, or 
LIFE AND DREAM CAN NEVER BE ONE.....